Monday 19 April 2010

Humiliation.

I wasn't going to write about this, but have decided I will as I told myself I would be as open and honest about Ushers as I can be.

And now I've decided to write about it I have to do so now so I don't lose the nerve/bottle at a later date!

Yesterday morning I was waiting for a bus to get to work. The sun was really bright and despite having my sunglasses on the glare was glaring in a glary manner! Now, for those who don't have or know about Ushers, sun glare can be a right pain in the jacksie. You know those really over exposed photo's, it's a bit like that. plus my eyes water a lot when it's like that, so I have to contend with the blur that watery eyes give as well.

The bus came, the doors opened and I went to step on.

Before my foot hit the deck someone, a man, barged into me so HE could get on before me.

Because at that precise moment I was on one leg it knocked me sideways. My shoulder hit the side of the bus. I stacked and ended up on the road between the bus and the curb.

The man spun around and started shouting at me!

Apparently I should have been looking where I was going. I was taking the piss. I was making it far worst than it actually was. I was trying to make him look bad. I was a fool. I was f*cking waster. It was all my fault.

He then went and sat down.

The bus driver didn't anything other than look at me.

Behind me a group of teenagers were laughing.

No one asked me if I was ok. No one helped me up. I got up and walked away.....

I have never been so humiliated in my whole life. I have never felt so ashamed to be me. I have never felt quite as vulnerable as I did then.

So much so I didn't tell anyone at work once I got there. I didn't tell any of my family that evening.

No one wants to admit this sort of thing happens to them. But I am going to admit to it, because it takes a fair bit of bottle to do so, and I reckon I got that bottle!!

4 comments:

  1. It's not okay that you are feeling bad about something that isn't your problem. It's not even because of Ushers. That guy is a rageaholic and he is the one I feel humiliated for, not you. I'm glad you wrote about this. I hope you don't have to think about it anymore now. xox

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  2. Well done for writing about this. He's the one with the problem, please remember that.

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  3. What an idiot that guy was! Says a lot for civilisation today doesn't it!!
    Hope you are feeling a bit better now. I would also write a letter of complaint to the bus company about the driver's attitude to the whole situation!!!

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  4. Thank you for sharing this. I have ushers type 2 as well but I haven't had anything like this happen yet. There have been times when I have bumped into people without realizing they were there, and they generally think that I'm being rude. I know it's going to happen more and more often as my vision gets worse, which is something that I worry about.

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