Thursday, 25 March 2010

Sheep pretending to be snakes.

I have a friend who, whenever I'm in her company we seem to end up having some kind of adventure.

I shall call her Cheese, she knows why I'm calling her Cheese, it's a long story, but is not related to her feet at all! She really hasn't got cheesey feet!

Anyhoo..... I digress! Adventures..... More often than not rather strange ones! And more often than not, they're 'mishaps'!! Sometimes, occasionally, perhaps booze is involved..... Sometimes booze isn't!

We decided to go and explore another part of Wales one day because our days off had fallen at the same time.

So we packed our toothbrushes, some pants and a few CD's to play in the car. Sat in the car and pulled out a map. I closed my eyes pointed to somewhere on the map and our destination was a place called Milford Haven, so off we went!

We were pootling away, music blasting, windows wide open cos the weather was gorgeous and beeping and waving at good looking men, and sometimes at OAP men for a giggle!

We got to the local YHA there, sorted out our accommodation and set off on the half hour or so walk to the village to have food and a drink or two!

Fast forwards to after dinner, we decided that we should buy some vodka and go and drink it on the beach because it really was a beautiful day/evening.

We spent a few hours there, drinking, paddling, getting to know the local teenagers that were there. Then it started to get dark....

'We'd better not go back along the road' said I, 'for we are sure to be knocked over and killed by all the speeding cars!'

'You're right' agreed Cheese, 'We should walk back along the coastal path, no matter that you wont be able to see in a few minutes, or the fact we've been drinking, it's the safest and most sensible thing we could do!'

So off we went, the coastal path was a maxium of six inches from the edge of the cliff and there was no fence or wall or anything that might have prevented us from toppling down to the sea if we fell!

Cheese walked in front in order to guide me, tell me when there was a bump, an upwards bit, a downwards bit, a crumbly bit etc etc etc!

She was wearing a light coloured top so I was able to see a very faint block of grey to also help guide me on my way.

We had walked no more than ten minutes when Cheese suddenly fell to the floor, giggling like a mad woman and saying 'I can see, you can't and I've fallen over!'

Hmm..... Suddenly risking the roads seemed like a far wiser idea! I sat down and said

'I'm not moving, I'm staying here! If we carry on we'll fall in the sea!!!'

Cheese was still giggling like a demented woman, and eventually I started giggling too!

Cheese pulled herself together and said 'We should climb this tall fence and walk across the fields, that way at least we wont fall in the sea!'

So over we climbed and started to walk through the fields.

Now as you should all know by now, I can't see in the dark, at all. So I've got a hand on Cheeses arm to prevent me falling over. I wear hearing aids and so can hear fairly well with them in.

We had been walking for a while when I was suddenly aware of hissing noises...


'Cheese, Are there snakes in Wales?????'

'Dunno, why?!'

'Can't you hear them...........???'

Cheese stopped suddenly, 'Hear the snakes??? What are you about?????'

By now my heart was starting to pound a little faster and my fear levels were verging on panic mode. 'There!!! Didn't you hear it??? That hissing noise!! It's a sodding snake field!!!!'

Once again, Cheese started giggling like a demented woman, 'You can't see them can you??? It's the sheep weeing whenever we go past them!!!'

'WHAT??? What the hell are you on about??'

Giggle giggle giggle giggle giggle.......

'When we walk by them they either get up and run away or get up and do a wee!!!!'


Wednesday, 24 March 2010


I like it I do..... I would go as far as saying I love it! I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm obsessed with it. I'm not a geek with it, I don't have an indepth knowledge of shutter speeds, lighting, frames and all that whatnot!

I have a camera that I'm ever so slightly in love with, and a couple of lens to play around with. And there's nothing I love more than going for a walk and pottering around, snapping away and sometimes getting some reasonably good shots!

Some say I'm a little too trigger happy, but my view is that for every decent picture you take, there are going to be at least ten - twenty appalling pictures!

Not only do I love taking pictures, I adore looking at other peoples stuff, professional photographers work, people at the same level as me, I can easily while away hours nosing through flickr if I'm not careful!

I own an obscene amount of photography books, they're my 'porn' if you like!!

When I was first diagnosed with Ushers one of my biggest fears was that one day I wouldn't be able to look at others photography, or carry on doing photography myself.

It was such a horrible and wretched feeling, that one of my main passions in life might be wrenched away from me. Through no fault or doing of my own.

Thankfully though, it's not going to happen.....

And....... I've discovered another reason to love photography.

You see, my camera lens' field of vision is FAR wider than mine. Even when taking the shot, I see only what I see.

And it's not until I get home and upload the pictures to my computer, that I see what I don't see.

So while photography, for many is a record of what they've seen or memories of an event, for me it can be an intriguing mystery.....

Who is that old man waving at with a massive grin on his face.

What made the toddler screw up her face and cry.

How comes I didn't see the tree with a squirrel running half way up with what looks like a sandwich in it's mouth???

The couple I didn't see, and who obviously didn't see me as they only have eyes for each other.

My favourite shop with MASSIVE sale signs..... (and by the time I went back to take advantage of the sale, had closed down!)

The stunning building, church, cloud formations, graffiti.....

I have to say though, that there are advantages to a limited field of vision with photography too.

Because I'm so focused on 'my' subject, I don't get distracted by mundane bits and bobs surrounding it.

I've recently had a few ideas for photography projects, all related to my Ushers, I shall keep you posted. You never know, they might end up being shown somewhere!

Short and sweet this week folks, I had a real struggle with not procrastinating, and the internet played silly buggers for quite some time last night!!!

Thursday, 18 March 2010


I don't make a sound when I have fall, or trip, or bash my shins or stub my toes on something, or burn myself.

I don't scream, shout, yell, wail, swear, groan, moan or make any other noises of pain.

I just take a sharp intake of breath.

I've walked slap bang into a tree, and just took a sharp intake of breath.

I've stubbed my little toe so hard I pretty much ripped the whole nail off, and just took a sharp intake of breath.

I've burnt myself on an oven, and just took a sharp intake of breath.

I've reached to grab the banister at the top of the stairs at my Mum's house, missed it and went flying over, and fell about ten feet to the floor kicking out some of the rails and very nearly missed landing on a friend, but fortunately(?) missed them and crashed to the wooden floor, and just took a sharp intake of breath.

I've whacked my head on shelves, door frames, getting into cars, handles and god knows what else, and just took a sharp intake of breath.

I've been on many walks, fallen down little rabbit holes, turned my ankle and just taken a sharp intake of breath.

I've had tree's jam their twiggy branches in my eyes, and bizarrely up my nose, and just taken a sharp intake of breath.

I've walked straight into so many low walls, barriers and bollards, and just taken a sharp intake of breath.

I've tripped over curbs, wonky pavements and even litter, and just taken a sharp intake of breath.

I've tumbled down a flight of concrete stairs and just taken a sharp intake of breath.

It's not because I'm tough as old boots and don't feel any pain from what happens, far from it... I actually have one of the lowest thresh holds to pain ever.

It's shame! Think about how mortified you are when you fall over, how you hope no one's seen you and you leap back up and carry on as if it didn't actually happen!

I suppose..... I've subconsciously trained myself not to make a sound so as not to draw attention to what I've done. Because then, I don't have to explain to random strangers '

I'm not clumsy, I'm not a pleb, I'm partially blind'

'Yeah I know I don't have a stick or a dog...... But I am!'

Most of the time it works. But sometimes, the mishap that has befallen on me is too big to pretend it didn't happen. The looks of shock, and awed

'Didn't it hurt???'

'Yes it frickin' did!!!!!'

'But you never made a noise!!!!!!!'

I'm lucky, so far (touch wood), I've not had a serious injury as a result of all that stuff..... Bruises, grazes and bumps for the most part.

And I'd love to say that these tend to happen mostly in the dark, where I can honestly not see a thing!

But........ A lot happens in broad daylight.

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Old Ladies

There are many dangers and fears in this world today, dangers to ourselves, people around us and society as a whole.

We hear on a daily basis how yoofs are becoming more and more feral and involved with gangs, knives, guns and drugs.

About the next big virus that might or might not wipe out entire populations, think bird flu, swine flu and mad cow disease!

We are in a time at the moment where unemployment is at an all time high.

We are told NEVER to throw out ANYTHING with personal details on them as otherwise your identity will be nicked.

Terrorists causing death and destruction.

Young men and women, dying out in conflict zones (as apparently it's NOT a war!). Or those young men and women coming home with missing limbs or damaged minds.

The media scaremongering us that the country is full to the brim and we can't possibly have any more people come here.

That the police are both over zealous, and don't do enough to keep us safe.

Our politicians are liars thieves and rotten scoundrels.

Then there are the more personal fears and dangers.....

Will we be happy, healthy, loved, will we be mugged for looking at someone the wrong way, fears of flying or enclosed spaces.

There are many more of course, and each person will have different fears, different dangers which the next person might not even consider to be an issue!

The other day I discovered the biggest danger to my own personal safety.....

It's little old ladies..... With grey or white permed hair..... Who for the most part look harmless and sweet as pie.

Put them in a supermarket though, in the day time when they quite simply over run the place they are my nightmare!!!!!

They dart about with those little old lady trollies with a basket on top, and suddenly stop for no apparent reason!!! Or they walk really slow and then suddenly sprint off in zig zags. They tend to be short! And I'm actually rather tall, so whilst walking around a shop looking for the eggs, if one of these short old dears stops I have to stop adruptly, usually because I've clocked them right at the last nanosecond!

My biggest fear is I will simply not see one one day and send her toppling to the floor and cause a broken hip!!!

And because they're seemingly sweet looking short old ladies, and I'm a tall not obviously blind 'youngster' I'd probably be run out of town and lynched!!!!!

They're like my cat, lovely for the most part, but also a danger that I'm going to tread on them!!!

So I'm not going to go food shopping in the mornings EVER again! It stressed me out and I don't like that!