Thursday, 11 February 2010

I headbutted a man in bed.....

Today I thought I would tell a story that I haven't yet told anyone. Partly because it makes me cringe massively when I think about it, and partly because it's difficult to tell a story where you've physically harmed someone else and not snigger without coming across as a bit of a nasty piece of work!

So, I had been dating this man for a few weeks, we'll call him Mr. Numbers, he worked in the City in something to do with numbers. I'll be honest, whenever he spoke of his work after a few minutes 'selective' deafness came into play and I didn't pay any attention!

Mr. Numbers, apart from having a very dull sounding job was a very nice gent indeed, funny, articulate, well mannered, intelligent and easy on the eye! We had been out for a few drinks in London Bridge and gone on for a meal just off of Covent Garden (it's an amazing place, it looks and feels like the sort of place where Russian gangsters might hang out..... But that's another story!).

It had been a really nice evening, nothing amazing happened, but sometimes those are the best nights out I find.

We came back to mine, watched some T.V, and had a nightcap, and went to bed.

Because this isn't THAT type of blog the next bit is CENSORED.

So, we fell asleep, and I have to say usually once I'm asleep noise doesn't wake me, movements and vibrations from noise wakes me. So to all you snorers out there, know this, just because you are in bed with a deaf person, does not mean they wont be disturbed by your nocturnal rasps! I would say we are more disturbed because it's not just a sound..... It's the whole bed gently shaking!

Anyway, as I was saying, I had fallen asleep and at this point I wasn't used to sharing my bed again.

When you can't see in the dark, or hear because your aids are on the bedside table, your other senses kick in, you can just 'feel' when something doesn't seem quite right.

I woke up suddenly and could 'feel' something leaning over me, I sat bolt upright and


'F!ck! F!cking f!ck!!!!' Mr. Numbers yelled, loud enough for me to hear exactly what he was yelling!

I scrambled for the lamp, turned it on quickly, stuck my hearing aids in my ears, turned around and saw Mr. Numbers clutching his nose with blood dripping out from through his fingers.

The first words to exit my mouth, not 'I'm sorry!' not 'oh my god! Are you ok??' but

'My sheets!!!' I did instantly change my tact, and rush to the bathroom and get him tissues, some neurofen, gave him lots of sympathy and didn't mention my sheets again, at all, not once..... Although I was thinking about them!

Turned out he had leant over to get a drink of water from my bedside table and instead had got a bloody nose!

He was very understanding about it, far more so than I would have been if the situation had been reversed I'm sure! We did carry on dating for a few more months, but it just fizzled out in the end, that's what I tell myself anyway, nothing to do with the ABH I inflicted on him!

Moral of the story, if you're dating a deaf/blind person, make sure you have water on your side of the bed!

It's a short one this week folks, I've been busy and in a good mood and not wanting to think too much about the depressing times!


  1. I have bloglinked to you from, hope that's OK

  2. OMG! The poor guy! lol - if it is any help - I whacked my other half last night in my sleep what with new tablets and muscle spasms! Total accident, of course! (At least, that's my excuse, and I'm sticking with it!)

  3. lol, my sheets... he should have got out of bed and walked round, the lazy so and so :)